I Do Not Almost Have A Teenager....Nope NOT Me!

Wow, I have not done a "Not Me" in awhile.  Linking up with my friend Jenilee today and her "Not Me".  As Jen writes...

"This is just where you exclaim, "I DID NOT just do that!" and write about it."

Or in my case...lie in every sentence you are about to read.  LOL!

Over the  weekend, I did not realize what was happening to my daughter.

She is not going to be a teenager in 4 months...not my daughter who promised to stay little forever.  She would not lie to me.

She would not look so grown up at her Teen Bible Quiz meet.

She would not decided to join Teen Bible Quiz all on her own.  She would not be amazing at it.  She would never join because of a boy.  She would not memorize a ton of scripture.  She would not be so competitive that she would say, " I want to crush those boys!"

She would not do amazing things like contest judges so politely or quiz out (which is get 5 questions right in a match and get bonus points).

She would not like talking to the boys A LOT....oh no she would not, could not.  We have a deal!  That does not happen until she is 30.

I would not long for her attention that was everywhere else than with her mommy.  And I would not do weird things like try to sit next to her, randomly hug her, try to get in on her conversations, and be jealous that she did not want to have her mom around obviously...not this understanding, cool mom.  

I would not be overly proud of her, that at the quiz meet you can hear me very loudly praising her...nope not me.


She would not also have her first real babysitting job over the weekend and make way more money than I ever did....not my daughter. 

She would not volunteer to help with the kids at church...not my girl.

I would not be sad that my daughter is growing up.......booo hoooo whaaaaaaaaa not me!

I would not whine about it to the whole world...nope not me!

I would not be so amazed about the beautiful young lady she has become....Nope certainly not ME!  Not this Mama!

I would most certainly not want the next 4 months to go in slow motion, while she is counting down the days....nope not me.  

And she would not help me....

GET JOY!  

Not ever!  LOL  

Ooh and here is a bonus "Not Me!"  I would not love Duck Dynasty so much that I would do this to my hubby and post it everywhere.  Hahahahaha NOT ME!

Not Me Monday - What Is Worse than Mosquitoes?

My daughter would not come to talk to me at 10 pm Wednesday night and inform me that her head has been really itchy for the last several WEEKS! I would not then ask her why she waited so long to tell me. She would not then reply, " I kept forgetting!"

I would not then discover something far worse than misquitos....LICE!

I would not spend the next several days in combat with this wretched Phthiraptera!

I would never be jealous of my husband's shaved head. I would not have to treat everyone except him....grrrrrr!

I would never pray to God that Harold Camping was right on Friday. I would not be totally up for the end of the world just to avoid being buried in laundry and never ending cleaning.

I would not still be washing four days later and probably won't be done for two more.

My kitchen would not have at least 9 garbage bags of linens and things still waiting to be washed...Nope Not This MOM!
My couch would not become clean laundry central. I would not have piles and piles on it right now as I write this blog.... I would never let that happen.

I would not pick through my oldest daughter's hair for three hours. I would not do two treatments on her an all natural one and then a store bought one. I would not have to call her three friends moms and tell them the news and apologize profusely.

I would not then just shave off my son's adorable hair to avoid a temper tantrum beyond what this poor mom could handle. He cried like I was doing the worse thing to him the world while shaving his head. I would not think he still looks adorable with the big brown eyes....I would never be that drastic Not Me!

I would not cut off 10 inches off of this girl's head to avoid torturous screaming and crying as I picked through her hair....No, not this mama! I would not kind of make a mistake when I cut her hair and cut it way to short. I would not panic. I would not pretend to be a hairdresser and fix it. I would not sorta succeed because I would be far too embarrassed to take her to a real hair dresser and say could you fix this. I would then not have someone at church compliment my haircutting skills and say they would come to me for a hair cut hahahahahaha that would never happen. And of course my daughter would not like her new do... no way, not her!

My dear sweet hubby did not buy me beautiful red roses to help me feel a better during all this. He is not that sweet...not my hubby!

I would not be still scratching my head like crazy...Nope Not Me!

Argh...Lice...does not give me joy. But me killing lice totally helps me....

GET JOY!

Not Me Monday- Swimming Edition

I would never do a "Not Me Monday" on a Tuesday and break the rules...I would never do that!

I would not sign up my kids for swimming lessons with 2 out of 3 kids not wanting them.... Nope not me.

My hubby would not think it was crazy to sign a toddler up for swimming lessons. And I would not then make him do the first lesson with him. No I would never do that to MY husband.

My baby would not scream the whole 30 minutes of his first lesson (poor daddy, what a guy to endure it). My son doesn't fear the water at all....not my child.

Last nights lesson would not be more of the same, except he was with me this time in the water. I would not feel like an idiot during the whole thing; because I didn't know what was going on and I couldn't hear the teacher because of the SCREAMING....not me at all.

My son did not master the art of getting out the pool!!!! Nope not HIM!

I would not be so wrapped up in getting him to calm down that I didn't realize where I was. I would not then back into the pool wall where I crushed another mom and her baby....no not me.

The teacher would not stop a portion of the lesson, yell out that we were doing it wrong, yell out that we were going to do it right and I would not be the reason we where doing it wrong, Yikes! That would just be terrible and I would not have anything to do with it....not me!

At the end of the lesson we would not have to dunk our precious children under the water. I would not cringe at the thought. I would not let the teacher do it twice. And I would most certainly not tell the teacher, "Might as well, He is crying anyway!" I would not see the look of pleasure the teacher had as she submerged my child under the water. What a terrible mother that would be....hehehehehe...Not me!

And none of those parents will be happy we are not there next Monday because of District Council....Nope not them.

I would not then ask my son, "Do you like swimming?" He would then not shake his head no several times....Nope not my son!

Swimming Lesson....not so sure they help me....

GET JOY!
maybe more of a headache. LOL

(He actually did better this week...He only cried half of the time. Hey, I think we are improving. He even smiled, participated and played during class...baby steps, literally baby steps!)

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Not Me Monday ~ B-Ball Edition

My daughter is not old enough to be on a basketball team....I would not be sad that she is growing up too fast...Not ME!

At my daughter's basketball tournament my son would not be yelling like everyone else in the stands....Not My 2 year old.

And of course my daughter would not be wearing the most unmatching crazy socks in the whole world...Not My daughter. I would not love it either!

I would not love my new camera sooooooo much that I would spend most of the time trying to catch some of these amazing moments.......totally NOT ME.

I would not be so excited for my daughter and be completely happy for her......Not ME!

Being a good mom, I would never let my daughter sit alone at the top of the bleachers playing her DS for the next two hours....Nope Not Me!

I would never ever let my very sleepy son lay all over the floor, roll around on the nasty floor, and eat loads of candy just to keep him happy so we could watch her play....No Most Certainly NOT ME.

Oh and I would not secretly steal his Skittles when he wasn't looking and eat them...Are you kidding me??!!! I would never do that! Who would steal candy from a baby! Ridiculous!

I would not be completely in love with the man who is coaching my daughter's team! Madly, In love!....Not ME!

I would not be using my big cheerleading voice at this game, shouting terms about basketball that I was not sure of, or call girls by the wrong name, or be the loudest encourager! I would never be so un-elegant...hehehehehehehehe!

My daughter's team would not then win the game...........Not my amazing daughter!

It would not be the most unexpected amazing day.....NOPE it would NOT!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Not Me Monday ~ Froze My Brain Edition

I did not venture out of my warm home in sub-zero weather to go take pictures with my little point and shoot camera. I would never leave my warm bathrobe and comfy couch to do something like that.....NOT ME that would just be crazy!

I would not travel around the corner to a little park to get these pretty little pictures without gloves, snow pants, and a hat. Someone who has been a Michigander her whole life would never be so insane. She mostly certainly would not think to herself, "I will leave those things behind to make sure I don't stay in the park to long"....No Not Me!

I would not run at all taking these pictures to warm myself up.


I would not place these footprints just for a picture...Not Me!


I would not think, "I should sit down on the bench and take a picture after of my backside prints on the bench....that would be funny!" I am more elegant than that.


I would not love this picture!
I did not hear terrible sounds coming from this bridge when I walked on it. I did not imagine what I would do if I fell into the river below. I figured, considering how cold I already was, that I would die as soon as I hit the water....I did not think that....No Not Me I am stronger than that. HA

I would not love this one too!!!

I did not travel on private property....
To get a picture of these cute little trees!!!!

I did not jump out of my warm car to grab this picture...Nope Not Me!

I did not think how fun would this picture would be. I would also not think how wonderfully tall this 5'1" girl looked today! Well, check out those long legs ....Whoo hoo!

I did not run back to the car with my arm on top of my head trying to warm up my brain; because I didn't bring a hat. I did not frantically try to use my car starter from a 1/2 mile away.

I did not have to defrost my glasses and myself!!!!!!!!!!

I do not have Pneumonia now...Nope Not Me!!!!!!

"Whenever I’m about to do something I think, would an idiot do that? And if they would I do not do that thing!" ~ Dwight Shrutte

I am NOT an idiot!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Not me Monday ~ Garage Sale Edition

I would not wait until the night before my garage sale at 11:30 p.m. to price all my stuff...no that would be stupid.

I would not let my child sell lemonade and as they pour it let it spill all over the table, down the pitcher, down her leg and all over her foot. And then let her walk around all day in her sticky flip flops - nope not me! I would not get annoyed with a person asking for less for something from me....and everyone give extra to my girls. Hahahahahaha Nope I would not let something like that bug me.

I would not let my girls take a bunch of scraps from our garage & pink duct tape and make a fort in our front yard for all the people to see as they come to our garage sale....nope I would never do that.

I would not put up all these crazy signs up on the last day to try to get rid of stuff....I would never be so desperate!!!! Those signs would not make just about every person laugh as they shopped around.

I did not love the 300 bucks I made .....nope not me! hahahahahahaha

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Not Me Monday ~ Diet, Make Up & Camp!

I would not start a diet and think the fat is melting off of me just like that. I would know that this is going to take awhile...a long while. You don't just start noticing a difference in two days...come on now....that would just be silly.

I would not discover that water chestnuts are pretty good....and after eating them wonder ..."What in the world are water chestnuts anyway???"


I would not lose my foundation somewhere in this crazy house on Sunday morning. It would not be in my makeup bag and then "POOF"... gone in one second. I would not make us late to church ripping the house apart to find it. I would not then use a stick of concealer for foundation. I would not then think..."Hey, not too bad".





I would not send my daughter off to kidz camp today...to be all by herself. (Okay, she is not by herself ...3 other kids from our church, a youth kid are there and bunch of adults I know are running the camp) But, I would not be sad about leaving her allllll alone. I would not leave her notes for each day just so she wouldn't be home sick. I would not think of ways I could come and visit her (1 1/2 hours away mind you). I would not stay up until 2am thinking about the whole thing. I would not have started interceding for her weeks ago that she would be safe.

I would not let my daughter go to camp with the craziest hat I have ever seen and let her wear it for crazy hat day...nope not me!

I would not stay up late and make superhero costumes for my daughter and her BFF, for superhero day at camp. My daughter would not be going as Duct Tape Girl with the power to stick and her BFF would not go as her sidekick Sticky Girl! Hahahaha that would be toooo outrageously funny now... wouldn't it?!

I would certainly not worry...nope not me!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.