Showing posts with label Self Esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Esteem. Show all posts

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I Am Flawed!



Did you ever realize that in the writing of Genesis, Joseph story is 13 chapters long?  That is 1/5 of the book.  Huh!  I am finding that is not too surprising; because I think God wants to say something very profound to Christ followers through the life of Joseph.

In chapter 37, I found some interesting little tidbits that really…well…spoke to me.  God began to show how relationships in our lives can affect our future.  I began to seek out answers to some questions like... Can God use me even when I have screwed up big time?  What about those flawed relationships in my own life?  How have I let any of those flaws shape my future?  What am I letting God do about it?  

Who knew that a coat could cause so much trouble? It was just a coat right?  

A Great Father Still Flawed
The great father of the Hebrew nation, Jacob…Israel… still even in his old age was flawed.  He chose a favorite son.  In doing so, he pitted his other sons against Joseph.  Jacob was not being an example to his boys.  He was not showing them how God loves us.  God does not have favorites…thank goodness or I would never be able to stand in the same room with people like Billy Graham, Corrie Ten Boom, or Mother Teresa.  
Wow, sometimes we think of giants of Bible as such holy people and that we can never be like them.  I mean come on, after all Jacob went through….man oh man, he literally wrestled with God for goodness sake.  The truth is, we are all flawed until we die, simply because we are human.  But it is only by God’s grace that covers us and makes a pure.  God is always working on our hearts.  In this life, we will never be perfect.  However, God is always working out His holiness in us until our very last breath if we let Him.

  • How many times do I still fail?  
  • How many times do I share favoritism? 


Bitter Brothers
Joseph’s brothers….yeah they had a right to be miffed.  No child wants to be loved less than another child.  That is not how God loves us.  We are not loved on a scale.  However, those boys had a decision to make.  They could let what their father said about them define them or they could let their heavenly Father define them. 
They decided to go in the wrong direction.  They decided to go the direction of hate.  The moment we let those feeling arise inside of us, it is like a cancer that eats away every good thing that God wants to do.  It can take over to the point that we can’t even hear the prompting of the Holy Spirit telling us to stop what we are doing and turn away from sin.  Those boys could not hear the Spirit as they were devising a plan to kill their brother over a coat and a dream. 

  • Have I let hate slip into my heart towards anyone?  
  • Has bitterness got a hold of me?


Failed Leader
Reuben, the oldest brother, has a tender heart.  Many may see him as a little bit of a hero in this story, because he doesn’t want to kill Joseph and finds a way to talk his brothers out of it.  But here is the deal, Reuben was the first born, the heir, he had a lot of ability to change the course of this story…but he didn’t.
 I see Reuben as missed opportunity for greatness.  He let fear and his own anger keep him from doing the complete right thing.  He only went half way with God.  He knew killing Joseph was wrong.  But he didn’t have enough courage to say, “No Brothers! This is an evil plan in the eyes of the Lord. We will not kill our brother or not let any evil come to him.”  Those were never his words or actions although it was his intent.  Life is full of good intentions. But God looks at our actions!!!

  • Am I full of just good intentions, but no action?  
  • Am I holding back anything from God?


Selfish Greedy Brother
Judah…well he just took the change of course in their plan to be greedy and make some money off his brother.  How many times do we use people’s misfortune for our gain?  Sadly, maybe more than we want to admit.

  • Have I used people for my selfish gain or ambition?
  • Do I only care about myself?


A Prideful Son
Lastly, Joseph the amazing man of God in our story.    Yet, I can’t escape his flaw in this story as it begins to unfold.  You see Joseph is just 17 when he receives his “Coat of Many Colors” and I don’t think he was an idiot even though he was young.  He knew what that special coat meant and he knew how his brothers treated him after.  He knew that he was his dad’s favorite.  I think he wore that coat with pride. 
When he has the two dreams, I think we see this pride come out.  There was absolutely nothing wrong with what God spoke to him in his dreams.  I think the problem arises in Joseph’s approach as he shares it with his brothers.  He does not come humbly to his brothers. In fact, it was kind of like dropping a ninja kick to a wasp’s nest and expecting them to just be okay with it.  Even his own father rebukes him.  I think the reaction from his brothers and dad is very telling of the attitude that Joseph was displaying.  Even Joseph is flawed.

  • Have I let my gifts become more important than people?  
  • Have I become prideful?



Yet, in all our flaws God is working out an amazing story of Grace.  He is not surprised by our mistakes or the mistakes of others in our lives.  He knows how to use them.  God was about to work out the most amazing story of struggle, perseverance, holiness, integrity, leadership, courage, forgiveness, love, and provision found in the Bible through the most flawed of men.   Thank God that he uses us in all our flaws.  Thank goodness in the end He can redeem us even when we are drowning in a grand mess of our own sin. Thank God, He pulls us up out of the pit when we cry out to him.

Romans 8:28

New Living Translation (NLT)
28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Thank you Jesus that you love us...flaws and all!
GET JOY!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Dear Moms and Dads of Girls,


This is a little longer than my normal post.  So, get a cup of coffee, that chocolate you have stashed for a rainy day, and take some time to read this very important post.  
I have been meaning to write this post for some time now.  I feel impressed to get it out now.  My heart has been deeply concerned about the state of our young girls.  My husband and I have been youth pastoring for 15 years now and we have seen a lot change over the years regarding our young daughters. I am talking just about girls raised in Christian homes in this post.  However, If you are not a Christ follower there are some really great things you can glean from this as well.   

My daughter is in the sixth grade and she goes to a public junior high school.  This year one of her close friends (we will call her Amy for the sake of this post) is being bullied.  Her friend Amy has been told that she should sleep with her boyfriend; because that is what you are just supposed to do.  Amy has been told she should start drinking.  Amy has been ‘hit on” by this girl bully.  Because Amy has decided to take a stand and not participate in these things, she is being bullied all at the age of 12. 

This post is not about what the media portrays women should look like.  This post is not about our over sexualized youth.  It is not about the internet or even peer pressure.  It is about what are we doing about raising our beautiful daughters to be strong women of God.

Time and time again, John and I are helping girls deal with breaking up with their boyfriends and they are barely 13.  We constantly see girls who are already defeated by what the world thinks of them.  We hear of girls who trade in their values just so they can feel loved.   We constantly see a battle in them about who they are in Christ and with the world.  The age of the start of these problems is getting lower and lower.  Moms and dads it is time to wake up and start teaching our girls to find their value in Christ.

Parents we need to be aware, actively aware.  We have found that parents are just not paying attention.  Recently, in our youth group we asked, “How many of you know someone who is sexually active now or has been?”  Out of a room of 25, more than half jr. highers, 80% of them raised their hand.  These are church kids, in middle America, in a small town.  I would dare say that more than half of our youth have unmonitored access to internet.  Most of our kids in our youth group barely know why they believe what they believe. Junior highers are asking questions I would never even have thought of when I was in high school.  Go here to check out some of those questions.  Our kids are growing up in a very different world; but our God never changes.

Okay, Christina so what do we do about it?  I think we need to teach them some very key attributes. 

Modesty is more then just not wearing short skirts and low cut shirts.  Modesty is about how your daughter sees herself.  Too many girls do not see their body as an act of worship.  Our bodies are to bring glory to God, not to get attention from people.  I love this verse...

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold and fine jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight! I Peter 3:3-4

Every girl needs to find their Identity/Value in Christ alone.  If we look for value from others, we will only leave empty.  Christ fills our void.  He gives us purpose.  He created us.  He knows us.  We are precious to Him!
Psalm 139:14-18
 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
 15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
      as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
 16 You saw me before I was born.
      Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
   Every moment was laid out
      before a single day had passed.
 17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
      They cannot be numbered!
 18 I can’t even count them;
      they outnumber the grains of sand!
   And when I wake up,
      you are still with me!

True Beauty/Purity only comes from a life yielded to Christ.  When we allow Christ to make us new, He comes in and does a clean sweep.  He makes beautiful from the inside out.  We radiate because the light of Christ lives in us.  I tell girls you can be beautiful to the human eye on the outside; but really ugly on the inside. The ugly on the inside will then overshadow the beauty on the outside.   Fear the Lord and you will be beautiful to Christ!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praise. 
–Proverbs 31:30

You daughter needs to know that she is a part of God’s Plan.  Too many girls are only living for themselves, mostly because at such a young that is what they are able to understand.  They live in the moment, not thinking about consequences.  As parents we need to teach them that God has a perfect plan for them.  Each girl needs to learn to listen to the voice of the Lord. He will guide them.  He will lead them to the good life He has for them.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.-Jeremiah 29:11



Thoughts can bring life and death to our girls.  I asked about 60 girls what they thought about themselves when they look in the mirror. Here are just some of the answers I heard:   fat, ugly, stupid, unloved, hate, not good enough, dumb, useless, worthless, nothing, the list went on and on.  (You can read my blog about it here)  What does your daughter say to herself?  Have you ever asked her?  Hopefully, she knows exactly what God says about her.  If not, help your daughter to understand how God sees her and begin to help her change her thoughts.  Here is a great verse for that….

 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. –Philippians 4:8

Mom and Dad your daughter is desperate for you to lead them, to help them, and to love them.  We need to intentionally encourage them.   As parents we also need to be the main adult presence in their precious lives.  That may mean Mom you take some time and sit down with your daughter and talk to her about how she sees herself.  Dad it may mean taking sometime out of your busy schedule and take that lovely girl out on a date.  Mom and dad it is time to be examples of Christ followers.  They are watching and learning from you.

It is time to wake ourselves up from our slumber; we need to realize that we need to parent our girls.  We need to do it now, even at a very young age and even if we have missed out and they are older.  It is never to late.  We need to actively train our girls in the Lord.  We need to teach them God’s ways.  We need to pray for them.  We need to help them become the strong Godly woman that Christ desires for them to be.

Your girl can change the world!
GET JOY!
I love this song

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

31 Virtues for our Kids ~ Biblical Self-Esteem

Biblical Self Esteem

For the month of January we will be praying for 31 Virtues for our Kids maybe even for ourselves too!

Ephesians 2:10 (New King James Version)
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.




I love this one! I love praying for my children to have well rounded, Christ centered, good self-esteem. I want them to have a godly confidence. So when they look in the mirror they see what God sees in them, the beautiful creation that He is so carefully painting inside of them. I got to share at Jr. /Sr. High Camp on this very topic, it is dear to my heart.

God really knew how to speak to me when He uses ideas that are artistic like Him being the potter, creator, us being his workmanship. I love art and these ideas just really help me to get. When we are His he is working in us chiseling away the things that are not of Him and revealing more of Christ. God wants us to be a masterpiece that is used for His glory. He wants us to do good works ....we should want to because of what He has done for us.

I don't want the world defining my children for them, which will lead them to vanity, pride, selfishness, disappointment. I want them to see themselves as God sees them and I want them to have self-esteem rooted in Christ. Then they will have the courage to do mighty and awesome things for His glory.






*"Help my children develop a strong self esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus"




*by Bob Hostetler, it is excerpted from Pray! magazine issue #4, 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Kids