Friday, May 22, 2009

Beauty & the Beast

A few months ago my oldest daughter stood up in front 40 high schoolers and belted out "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" at the high school musical tryouts. Last night was the opening and first performance of "Beauty and the Beast" that my daughter has had the privilege to be in the cast of. She is a "Sausage Curl Girl" (hence the awesome hair do that takes me a hour to do), villager, teacup and in the mob scene. It has been quite the commitment of my husband and me. Good sense has not left us; we go to every practice and are at every performance. We did not leave our daughter with a bunch of high schoolers for the last 2 months. LOL There are a lot of parents involved too. So, hopefully that calms the hearts of all you parents out there.
Actually living in a small town, you get to know the kids pretty well. Many of the kids involved are wonderful Christians. So many of the kids have just taken her under their wings and watched over her. It is pretty cool seeing how careful they are with my daughter. I think it is Gaston however who needs to watch out for her.

My daughter has gotten to know many of these great kids. However, public high school is public high school and we have had some discussions with her. It actually has been a great time of pouring into her soul about our words and the love of Christ for those who do not know him. I love that we have such a relationship with our kids that they can ask anything and we will do our best to answer their questions and show them what Jesus would have us do.

The director is amazing and runs a pretty tight ship over there. There is absolutely no goofing off. My daughter has learned so much about theater and singing. It has been so much fun for all us as a family. This is her as a teacup in "Be Our Guest"!

She has worked so hard and has never given up even after many late nights. She is so amazing. Yes, I am shamelessly bragging about my kid! Well, wouldn't you! LOL

God, you are so good to us. Help us to remember what precious gems our children are. Help us to remember to be in the world but not off it. Help us give them godly help and be living examples of You in a world that is so against Your nature. So that someday, when she leaves this world and takes that final bow...You Oh Lord will welcome her into Your big arms and say well done my dear...well done!

Pr 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

OH, during the first few notes played out popped a front tooth from my other daughter. What a fantastic night!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

God's Beauty

I just love the spring most of my favorite flowers come out right now. I took some pictures of a few of my favorites. I love the beauty of each detail of each flower. To me it shows God's awesomeness. Being in the garden brings me joy and peace. Enjoy some of my flowers for you today!
Columbine just about to bloom




Lily of the Valley

Col 1:16 For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Heaven's Voice

I miscarried a baby 10 years ago (weird that seems to me, time flys so quickly) This poem was given to me. It was such an comfort during my loss. I thought I would post it here in remembrance of our little one lost Tuesday, October 27 1998....

Heaven's Voice
Mama, although you can't see me right now for a while,
I'm growing in heaven and I often smile.
You'll always be special and close to my heart,
for you gave me life mom right from the start.

Mama please know I love you so much,
the time will soon come when I feel your touch.
On that glorious day we'll meet again,
look for me mom, I have Daddy's grin.

For now you must know I am happy and strong,
I play with the angels they teach me their songs,
If you listen real close, the songs you will hear
on the wind of the Spirit, they'll be so clear

So mama rejoice in our God who is strong,
time will pass quickly it won't be too long.
We'll stand together and look face to face,
beholding each other in this glorious place.

We'll worship forever our God who is true,
and love me enough, to give me to you.
-Cindi Diane Markham

Even in loss, I have a JOY that is unspeakable and FULL of glory because I have hope in meeting my baby soon.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Like Father...Like Son

Two of the most important guys in the world to me sitting on the couch sharing some sorta inside joke. I wonder what they are up good I am sure. Trouble right there!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Quote, Prayer

I love great quotes and this one was posted by a new friend of mine, Pat Habibi

As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. - Emmanuel Teney

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Kookie Kisses!

My daughter loves to bake. She is entering a contest at our Mpact retreat this weekend. Here is the recipe for some very yummy cookies.
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar (also put some extra in a bowl for later)
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teas. vanilla
1 cup peanut butter
3 cups sifted flour
2 teas. baking soda
1/2 teas. salt
bag of Hershey Kisses

1. Cream butter, sugars, eggs, and vanilla. Stir in peanut butter.
2. Sift dry ingredients; stir into creamed ingredients.

4.Roll your cookies in the sugar you set aside.

5.Put the cookies on a ungreasd cookie sheet.

6.Bake your cookies at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes. Make sure you watch every minute! Count to 60 for each one. LOL

7. Place a kiss in the center of your cookie as soon as they get out of the oven. If you wait to long you will not be able to do it; because the cookie will be to hard. Trust me I know!
Waa laa Get a glass of milk and get ready for some very Yummy cookies! A Johnson favorite!

Teaching my daughter to be a baker is fun and together we will...

Thanks Holly for a great recipe and great memories!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Mom Named Agnes and Mother's Day!

We drive through a cemetery on the way to church. Sometimes, I laugh at this because I think it is God's not so subtle way of reminding me of how short life is. Anyway, today I saw a man get out of his truck and walk over to a grave. The stone had the name Agnes on it. I can only assume that he wanted to take some time today and remember his mother. With my kids in the back seat, I was reminded by God that subtle little thing about life being short. We all go through life cycles. Once Agnes held that man in her arms; just like I hold my son in my arms now.

God wanted to remind me how valuable my job is to the three little ones that sat so quietly in the back seat of the car today. I need to take every moment and tell them how much I love them and care about them. I need to show them Christ's love and tell them of His grace for them. I need to do it as often as possible so that when I exit this world into eternity I have done all that I can.

I also couldn't help but wonder what that man may have been thinking. Was he sorry for things left unsaid, was he sad for the way he treated her, maybe he was thanking God for giving him such a wonderful mom. Whatever it was, I hope that my children's thoughts about me are of how much I loved them and how much I wanted them to know of God's great love. I also want them to remember that our separation is only temporary for one day they will be in heaven too.

That man also reminded me of that I should never let things go unsaid. We never know how long God is going to allow us to be with our loved ones. I am thankful for my mother. She has taught me so much about how to be a good mom to my kids. I love her so much and she is so beautiful to me. When I talked to her on the phone today the last thing she wanted to say to me was that I was a great mom. She always knows how to make me feel so good inside. She has become so much more than a mom to me.

We had a mother daughter banquet yesterday. The girls and I got all dressed up and had a wonderful time. The theme was, "Diamonds"; but not in the way that the world would want us to be, but being beautiful on the inside is what matters. So, ladies here is a verse to help us be a woman that our children can look up to.

I Peter 3
3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Have a wonderful Mother's day! Let's remember the beauty of our mother's and be reminded of the calling to bring beauty to our children.
Be blessed and ...


The pictures are from the banquet. It took me three hours to do all our hair; Yikes, but it was a lot of fun doing it. I like to think I saved $60. John just laughs at that.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Guilt and Shame

I John 1
5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.
7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.
I John 2
1My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
2He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.

My husband preached this passage on Sunday. I was in kid's church and I just finished listening to it today. It is so awesome that when we sin, Christ forgives us. I love how it says it in chapter two verse two; He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Atoning means to make amends or reparation(restoration to good condition), as for an offense or a crime, or for an offender.

When I ask God for forgiveness he restores me to a good condition, new again. He is truly great.

God has been showing me a few things about how I view myself. I was given this paper about Shame and Guilt; and on it are a few things I would like to share with you.

Guilt=I made a mistake (That is an action)
Shame=I am a mistake (That is a feeling)

Guilt- Painful feelings when behavior is different from a person's value system
Shame-Painful feelings when there is a difference between who I should be and who I really am. (Bigger the difference, Bigger the shame)

Person retains the ability to choose; they retain their right or belief they have a choice.
Behavior is judged; not personhood.
Internal judgment counts
Boundaries are clear
Forgiveness is available

No choices available and the person does not feel "safe" because their personhood not their behavior is at stake
Judges personal worth(the personal "I" of "me" is unworthy)
External judgments count, i.e. what others think is most important
Boundaries are vague
No forgiveness available (perfectionism)

There are three types of dysfunctional systems in which guilt and shame are most prominent:
Drug/ alcohol addiction
Abusive relationships
Religious rigidity

Rules of a shame based system
Do it right
Do it right every time
If you can't do it right, blame someone else.
If you can't do it right, it must be wrong.
If I do it wrong, I must be defective.
I must use my defenses to protect my defectiveness.
Rules are implicit and secret.
Rules are implied and oppressive; people are expected to live by them, but no one knows what they are.
Behavior counts, but personhood does not.

I have been living over in the shame side for far too long and God has been peeling back the layers of my heart. He is restoring me to that new condition. It is funny how we are so much harder on ourselves than God is. Don't get me wrong sin has no place in our lives; but if we do succumb to sin God's forgiveness is available for us.

I drew this picture in college to remind me of God's grace. God forgives me but for some reason I keep reminding Him of my shame.

My husband later in his sermon took a look at Paul. His life is a perfect example of one who could have let his shame keep him from doing the great things God called him to do. He persecuted Christians. He put them to death. Yet, in Christ great mercy and grace forgave Paul and used him to bring the Gospel to the world.
John invited Gladwin High School to sing a song they worked on. It is entitled the "Conversion of Saul". 30 students joined us from the high school and finished John's sermon. The beginning of the song is in Latin and its words mean hatred, condemnation, persecution. Then the song shifts into Paul's conversion half way thru and the mood is changes to that of repentance, grace and mercy. Here is another choir singing the song our church heard on Sunday. (Don't forget to pause the music on the side)

If God can forgive one who killed followers of Christ, then who am I that He can not forgive me. What joy there is in knowing that I can go to the very throne of God and there is Jesus atoning for my sin. He loves me and He so deeply loves you.

He has taken my shame and replaced it with grace!