Friday, April 8, 2011

Freeing the Fat Friday - When You Want To Cry!

God's Lesson For Me
"If I eat one more bowl of oatmeal, I am gonna scream!" There are a lot of days I feel like that. In fact, last week and this past week I think I have felt the emotions of that everyday. I have had a few little things that were just really discouraging to me in the past several days that just made me want to cry.

My cousin has a fabulous restaurant that I only get to maybe once a year. They serve my favorite dessert of all time there. I was really struggling! My sister was being my personal Holy Spirit and it was making me mad. I just wanted to justify it and eat. "Come On!" I only go there once a year and I never make that stupid dessert anyway. I nearly burst into tears right there at the table in the middle of Rebecca's.

But then my irritating sister reminded me about my diabetic father sitting across the table from me and that diabetes is my story if I don't let it go. I just wanted to cry more. I finally realized after much pondering later why it was such a hardship to me...
  • I was sad for my dad for my bad attitude.
  • I was frustrated with my sister because she only need to lose 5lbs to my 45lbs, she doesn't understand. Sadly, I wanted to punch her. Sorry sis, it was just how I was feeling.
  • I was realizing that diabetes is my story if I let my food addiction win.
  • I was letting go of my love for food for the love of health.
  • I was fighting self-control.
  • I was realizing how far I still have to go because food still has a hold on me.

The dessert is in the picture with my parents on the paper in front of them. Just in case you were wondering, I did not order the dessert. You may say "Yeah, for Me!"; but I did not feel like I won some personal victory. I was mad and it took some time to sort it all out.

Whew and if that wasn't enough...I also found out that my scale is a good ten pounds off. I still loss the same weight. It was just so discouraging to think I weighed much lighter and then find out I actually weigh ten more pounds...UGH! That was a HUGE set back for me even though I had some personal victories like fitting into size 10 pants or being on vacation and keeping to my 1,200 calorie diet. It is funny how seemingly bad things can overshadow all good things.

I just wanted to cry and give up this week and for the most part I did. Somehow, I just need to press on. Changing your eating habits is not like a sprint....more like a marathon. I just need to keep pressing on toward the finish line even though it is still so far away. I feel like I tripped and I am all a mess. This week I am going to try to pick myself off, brush the dirt off and start running again toward the goal.

Meals for the week
I did my best to keep it at 1,200 calories...I did not gain any weight but I did not lose any either.


Food's Favorite Friends
I heart Taco Bell and their Fresco menu. It is cheep and only 150 calories for some of them and they are so good! Yeah for Taco Bell, they rock!!!!!! Now if only we had one in my town where I live!

Goals For Next Week!
Work really hard at the 1,200 calorie diet and begin walking! It is getting warmer out more excuses.



  1. I am proud of you. Even with the setbacks, you are continuing on in this new way of eating and living. It is hard... when I had to loose 30lbs after Abby, it was incredibly hard. I am praying for you!

    and yes, I love taco bell!

  2. Oh Christina... You CAN do this. I'm thinking about you and praying that you can keep turning these small things that seem like setbacks into positive lessons. (((HUGS)))

  3. P.S. I could NEVER imagine you punching someone, but the thought made me LOL just a little.

  4. Gooooo Christina! I'm on a weight loss journey too. We can do it!!!!!!!!! Thanks for your post and honesty. Love it.

  5. Thanks for your honesty... I totally understand the struggle. You nailed it with the statement, "letting go of my love for food for the love of health." I don't think people realize that it really is an addiction for many of us. You can do it,and I believe you will.


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