Wednesday, May 16, 2012

As Long As He Gives Me Breath!

My dad at my daughter's birthday.
My dad had a stroke on Mother’s day.  It seems weird to see that sentence typed on my screen. Eight words that are just letters from the alphabet, but those little letters arranged in that certain way have changed my family.  Right now there are so many questions and “what if” thoughts rolling around in my head.  There are simply not enough answers to solve all the problems that my mom and dad face right now.  At times all these circumstances can leave me feeling overwhelmed and inadequate.

Since Easter, my daughter had an emergency appendectomy.  My father-in-law had an emergency gallbladder removal and now my dad’s stroke.  We are all so thankful that they are with us today.  I cannot put into words my deep gratitude to God for His hand of protection.  But, I have been traveling on an emotional roller coaster and I am ready for the ride to be done.  When life hits hard like it has my family or when we find ourselves being attacked by the enemy, how do I react?

Easter 2011
During times like this, it becomes very clear what I cannot do.    I cannot keep bad things from happening.  I cannot control outcomes.  I even cannot kiss it and make it all better.  I feel so helpless and at times frustrated.  There is only one sure thing I can do or control through all of "life" stuff and that is my reaction.

My reaction is a choice.  Sure I have many feelings that flow through me during rough, discouraging, and hard times some of them not so good…hey I am only human.  But how I express those feelings is what I can control.  I choose to react the way God would have me to react.  Sometimes that can be genuinely hard to do, especially when you are really angry or hurt.  Gods just simply asks us to trust even in the middle of tough things.

Christmas program 2011
The last few days, I have been reminded about how much God loves me.  Not only does He love me, but He also gives me everything I need.  He provides for me spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally.  He brings friends and family to carry my family and encourage us.  He is all and does more than we can imagine.  He holds us in the palm of His hand. 

Starting a new church in the months ahead is a lot of work.  All these seemingly bad things that have happened in the last month and half could really discourage John and I and distract us.  However, I have to know that no matter what we face God is on our side.  He has strengthened my resolve.  He has strengthened my determination.  And when I have done all (Eph. 6), I have decided …..I will stand firm.

Bay City last fall 2011
I was told during boot camp that we would face difficult times and attacks from Satan.  I really did not like hearing those words.  I cringed just at the thought of it.  In fact, I quickly buried those thoughts.  Of course, nobody wants to deal with stuff like that, I am no different.  I really like what George Wood posted on his facebook recently, “Paul does not say, "Everything that happens to us is good." Rather, the apostle declares, "God works good in all things." (Rom 8:28) (Man, I needed to hear that today!)

I read this verse about a week ago and I think God gave it to me for this very season of my life. I've been meaning to blog about this verse.  I just did not know this is how this blog would unfold.

Psalm 116

I love the Lord because he hears my voice
    and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen,

    I will pray as long as I have breath!

I have prayed this as a prayer constantly since I read it. Little did I know how much I needed those few words written on paper so long ago and how they would impact my life right now.   I love the image of God in this passage.  I see Him as a dad bending down to help His daughter.   My Father not only loves me, He bends down to me, hears me, and takes care of me.  He is working all things together for my good and for my family’s good.  He has called me and I will answer that call.  

In bad times, good times, I will pray to my Jesus as long as He gives me breath!


  1. We're praying for your family.

  2. Christina,
    The tears run down my face, your words flood me with encouragement, and I am taking, yet again, a few moments to thank God for blessing me with a friend and church family member in you. I feel like I have a million things to say but need to just sit silent for a while and soak this up...letting God use these very words in your blog post for His purpose within me as He desires. That is one of the reasons you encourage. You have done that :)

  3. I feel like you and I are going through some similar battles these days. Someone told us recently, "It seems like ever since Keith applied to be a deacon, your family has been under attack."

    Thanks for posting the verses from Psalm 116...

    God is bigger than all this!

  4. Phooey. That last comment was from me. I forgot to put my name!



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