Saturday, November 24, 2012

Are You Ready?

What do you talk to three teenage nephews about....well, tonight it was a very serious conversation about the wellbeing of their aunt.  Isn't that lovely?   They shared with me the importance of being prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse.  I am so concerned that I took some notes and decided that I better share my new found knowledge about the living dead.  Apparently, I am very unprepared and ignorant about these Zombies who are inevitably going to take over the world.  

Some things that EVERYone should know about Zombies
  • Zombies cannot swim or drive
  • You can never be 100% sure that someone is not a Zombie.
  • Because you can not be sure if family member or friend has turned into a Zombie it would be difficult for you to eliminate them.  Don't be tempted to take them along with you.  
  • They sadly do not have a kryptonite...I think they are wrong about that.
  • Singing "Thriller" will have no effect on them, not even the cool dance moves.
  • Look for bite marks.
  • Zombies are always hostile..... they will eat you.  
  • The only way to slay a Zombie is to take out it's brain. Hummm I have more questions about that....maybe my nephew the Zombie expert will have to help me further understand how one goes about that.  All the ways they mentioned now do not seem to make sense.  LOL  I guess I need more training.

Here are some things that I need to have on hand when the Zombies come and get me.
  • gun 
  • boat
  • food supplies
  • pink inner tube in case the boat sinks(It doesn't have to be pink; but I asked the boys if it would be ok? They didn't seem to care and neither will the zombies.)
  • baseball bat
  • a long sword (a katana but a kris would be better and more effective.  I just wikipedia I know why those would be more adventagious)
  • radio
  • oranges (so I don't get scurvy on my boat)
  • sock for a puppet friend/weapon
  • disposable camera (so I can make a taser out of it or take nice pictures)
  • paper clip (to complete said camera taser)
  • duct tape
  • a possible vampire (cause if I have to choose I might be better off as a vampire)
  • copious amounts of hummus
  • and a toothbrush
They helped me come up with a plan of survival.
  • gather all the necessary needs on the above list
  • get on the boat (I should probably learn how to drive one, I guess a row boat will do)
  • row to a deserted island in the tropics
  • live off the land and avoid Zombies at all cost
  • Lastly, I should not take my nephews...they most likely will have all turned into ZOMBIES!
With all of that I might survive the Zombie Apocalypse!

My nephews are the coolest...they just love to take care of their dear old auntie!  However, it may have been too late...
Yes, I was Zombified a few months ago!
You never can be 100% sure.


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