This is a little longer than my normal post. So, get a cup of coffee, that chocolate you have stashed for a rainy day, and take some time to read this very important post.
I have been meaning to write this post for some time
now. I feel impressed to get it out
now. My heart has been deeply concerned
about the state of our young girls. My
husband and I have been youth pastoring for 15 years now and we have seen a lot
change over the years regarding our young daughters. I am talking just about
girls raised in Christian homes in this post. However, If you are not a Christ follower there are some really great things you can glean from this as well.
My daughter is in the sixth grade and she goes to a public
junior high school. This year one of her
close friends (we will call her Amy for the sake of this post) is being
bullied. Her friend Amy has been told
that she should sleep with her boyfriend; because that is what you are just supposed
to do. Amy has been told she should
start drinking. Amy has been ‘hit on” by
this girl bully. Because Amy has decided
to take a stand and not participate in these things, she is being bullied all
at the age of 12.
This post is not about what the media portrays women should
look like. This post is not about our
over sexualized youth. It is not about
the internet or even peer pressure. It
is about what are we doing about raising our beautiful daughters to be strong
women of God.
Time and time again, John and I are helping girls deal with
breaking up with their boyfriends and they are barely 13. We constantly see girls who are already defeated by
what the world thinks of them. We hear
of girls who trade in their values just so they can feel loved. We constantly see a battle in them about who
they are in Christ and with the world.
The age of the start of these problems is getting lower and lower. Moms and dads it is time to wake up and
start teaching our girls to find their value in Christ.
Parents we need to be aware, actively aware. We have found that parents are just not
paying attention. Recently, in our youth
group we asked, “How many of you know someone who is sexually active now or has
been?” Out of a room of 25, more than
half jr. highers, 80% of them raised their hand. These are church kids, in middle
America, in a small town. I
would dare say that more than half of our youth have unmonitored access to
internet. Most of our kids in our youth
group barely know why they believe what they believe. Junior highers are asking
questions I would never even have thought of when I was in high school. Go here to check out some of those questions. Our kids are growing up in a
very different world; but our God never changes.
Okay, Christina so what do we do about it? I think we need to teach them some very key
attributes.
Modesty is
more then just not wearing short skirts and low cut shirts. Modesty is about how your daughter sees
herself. Too many girls do not see their
body as an act of worship. Our bodies
are to bring glory to God, not to get attention from people. I love this verse...
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as
braided hair and the wearing of gold and fine jewelry and fine clothes. Instead
it should be that of your inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of
great worth in God's sight! I Peter 3:3-4
Every girl needs to find their Identity/Value in Christ alone. If we look for value from others, we will
only leave empty. Christ fills our
void. He gives us purpose. He created us. He knows us.
We are precious to Him!
Psalm 139:14-18
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
True Beauty/Purity
only comes from a life yielded to Christ.
When we allow Christ to make us new, He comes in and does a clean
sweep. He makes beautiful from the
inside out. We radiate because the light of Christ lives in us. I tell girls you can be beautiful
to the human eye on the outside; but really ugly on the inside. The ugly on
the inside will then overshadow the beauty on the outside. Fear the Lord and you will be beautiful to
Christ!
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the
Lord is to be praise.
–Proverbs 31:30
You daughter needs to know that she is a part of God’s Plan. Too many girls are only living for
themselves, mostly because at such a young that is what they are able to
understand. They live in the moment, not
thinking about consequences. As parents
we need to teach them that God has a perfect plan for them. Each girl needs to learn to listen to the
voice of the Lord. He will guide them.
He will lead them to the good life He has for them.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They
are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a
hope.-Jeremiah 29:11
Thoughts can
bring life and death to our girls. I
asked about 60 girls what they thought about themselves when they look in the
mirror. Here are just some of the answers I heard: fat, ugly, stupid, unloved,
hate, not good enough, dumb, useless, worthless, nothing, the list went on and
on. (You can read my blog about it here) What does your daughter say to
herself? Have you ever asked her? Hopefully, she knows exactly what God says
about her. If not, help your daughter to
understand how God sees her and begin to help her change her thoughts. Here is a great verse for that….
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts
on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. –Philippians 4:8
Mom and Dad your daughter is desperate for you to lead them, to help them, and to love them. We need to intentionally encourage them. As parents we also need to be the main adult presence in their precious lives. That may mean Mom you take some time and sit down with your daughter and talk to her about how she sees herself. Dad it may mean taking sometime out of your busy schedule and take that lovely girl out on a date. Mom and dad it is time to be examples of Christ followers. They are watching and learning from you.
It is time to wake ourselves up from our slumber; we need to realize that we need to parent our girls. We need to do it now, even at a very young age and even if we have missed out and they are older. It is never to late. We need to actively train our girls in the Lord. We need to teach them God’s ways. We need to pray for them. We need to help them become the strong Godly woman that Christ desires for them to be.
Your girl can change the world!
GET JOY!
I love this song
What a beautiful treasure a daughter must be (I am a mom of 2 boys). I pray more moms and dads of girls read this post and realize the truth in your words. My prayers go out often for the girls my boys will marry. God help us all be aware of our children's hearts and minds!
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