God's Lessons for Me
I have been a Christian since I was a little girl. My journey with Christ has had it is ups and downs for sure. One major down time in my life was when I was a senior in high school. Every day at my Christian school we would have prayer during lunch. Usually once a week I would do an all day fast.
At the beginning of the year, I went through a series of personal crisises. During my days of fasting I realized something that was very appealing to me and that was I would drop my weight during fasting. All of a sudden I began to skip a lot of meals and drop even more weight. This went on for about 6 months. My weight was generally around 115lbs during high school which was a perfectly fine weight for me. However, at the end of the 6 months I had drop down to 103lbs.
All of a sudden I was looking for others approval about how I looked. Frankly, I liked how I was looking even though I was underwieght. My vainity had grabbed a hold of me. No matter how low I dropped, I was still never quite happy with my body.
One day, I remember very clearly God asking me what I was doing?! I was anorexic and I began to argue with Him. I did not want to admit it and I felt I was handling it. But, I was not letting God reign in my life. I was not letting Him speak value into my life. I did not have a correct relationship with food at all. I realized that I need to stop the pattern I was in at that very moment. By summer I was creeping back up to a normal healthy weight.
My relationship with food would continue to be a battle and still is today. However, God has given me the tools and the ability to see know through His eyes what I could not see before. One of the biggest things that I have learned is that I only need His approval ...no one else! He wants to teach me discipline. He wants me to submit to Him in everything...hold nothing back. He is concerned with my health and wants me to live the best life that I can. I want to glorify Him with my body. It is no longer about what I look like on the outside, it is all about who I am on the inside. What a freeing journey!
Meals for the Week
My sister and I have continued our 1,200 calorie diet. Man it is hard sometime and one food can blow your calories out of the water. Last Sunday was one of those days I blew my calories out of the water...I had a brownie. I ain't gonna lie, it was sooooo good! This life change has become quite a discipline. It is getting easier, surprisingly.
None this week, partly because I was exhausted and then got the stomach flu...yuck! I am on the mend and will try to pick it up next week.
Foods Favorite Friends
Dark Chocolate, Dark Chocolate, Dark Chocolate ...Thank you Jesus for Dark Chocolate! Sometimes something sweet is neccessary. LOL
That I would always find my value in Christ alone!
Being a food addict!